You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Running a Business From a Nervous System That Feels Unsafe.
Most founders think if they just find the right strategy, the right funnel, the right calendar hack… then everything will finally click.
But what if the real bottleneck isn’t your strategy?
What if it’s your trauma?
In this episode of the Accidental CEO Podcast, Nata Salvatori interviews trauma psychologist Farya Barla on how unresolved trauma quietly shapes our identity, our capacity, and even our income ceilings.
This post breaks down the episode’s juiciest takeaways, adds extra context, and gives you a new lens on your growth plateaus. Especially if you’re a high achiever.
Trauma Isn’t Just About Big, Obvious Pain
Forget what you think trauma looks like.
It’s not just what happened to you. It’s what happened inside you when you had to abandon parts of yourself to be loved, accepted, or safe.
Farya defines trauma as any moment you had to move away from your authentic self to stay connected.
This means:
- Saying yes when you wanted to say no
- Hiding parts of yourself to fit in
- Overperforming to earn approval
…all of that? It lives in the body. And it shows up in business.
How Trauma Masks Itself as Productivity
High achievers are often the most traumatized.
Not because they can’t function—but because their functioning is their trauma response.
Farya explains that common high-achiever behaviors are actually adaptations:
- Doing everything yourself = learned helplessness from unmet needs
- Overdelivering and undercharging = safety mechanism against rejection
- Money blocks = a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe receiving
And here’s the kicker:
You can’t mindset your way out of a nervous system response.
Why Identity Upgrades Fail Without Nervous System Work
There’s a lot of noise online about “identity upgrades” and “subconscious rewiring.”
But Farya drops a truth bomb:
“You cannot upgrade an identity built on a trauma foundation.”
The identity that keeps you in hustle mode was built for survival. If you don’t update the safety pattern underneath it, you’ll snap back into old ways no matter how inspired you get.
Growth without safety = sabotage.
Nervous System Regulation: What It Actually Means
Nervous system work isn’t just breathwork and crystals. It’s about training your body to feel safe with success.
If your nervous system equates visibility with danger (because of generational trauma or past experiences), you’ll resist growth without even knowing it.
That’s why some founders:
- Can’t raise prices
- Panic when fully booked
- Stall before launching something new
The nervous system says: “This isn’t safe. Retreat.”
Self-Check: Are You Subconsciously Sabotaging Success?
Here’s a quick exercise from the episode:
Ask yourself: How good am I willing to let it get?
Then sit in silence. Visualize the answer. Notice what your body does.
Do you tense up? Feel avoidant? Go blank?
That’s the edge of your nervous system’s current capacity.
And good news? You can expand it.
Case Study: The Book That Wouldn’t Be Written
One of Farya’s clients had scaled to 7 figures and checked every box—except writing her book.
No matter how many coaches she hired, she just. wouldn’t. do it.
Turns out the root wasn’t procrastination. It was generational trauma around visibility.
Her great-grandmother had been punished for being outspoken. That fear got passed down, unspoken but alive in her nervous system.
Once they unpacked that and worked somatically to restore safety, the words finally flowed.
Why Coaches Must Be Trauma-Informed
With AI automating info, clients don’t want more strategy. They want transformation.
If you can’t hold your client’s full human experience, you’ll be left behind.
Farya trains coaches to become trauma-informed so they can:
- Help clients break through plateaus that aren’t strategy-based
- Create safer coaching containers
- Deliver more lasting results
It’s the difference between giving advice and giving access.
The New CEO Paradigm
It’s not just about scaling a business. It’s about expanding your capacity to receive, lead, and thrive—without collapse.
So if you’ve been chasing the next level, but nothing sticks?
It might be time to stop optimizing your funnel… and start regulating your nervous system.
Want to go deeper?
- Follow Farya on Instagram: @farya.psychologist
- Check out her programs at themethodbyfarya.com
- Apply to work with Nata at theaccidentalceo.co
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