When Trauma Puts On a Blazer and Looks Like “Drive” (and What It’s Doing to Your Business)

If you’re tired of snapping back, read this.

“I know exactly what to do. I’m just… not doing it. Or I do it for a week and then it all snaps back.”

If that line hits a little too close, you’re not alone. On paper, you’re a force. In your body, you’re fried. In your business, there’s an invisible ceiling you keep head-butting.

In my newest Substack piece, I share a powerful conversation with psychologist and trauma specialist Farya Barla—and we unpack why so many high performers keep stalling at the same thresholds, even with pristine strategies and strong teams.

👉 Read the full article on Substack: “When Trauma Puts On a Blazer and Looks Like ‘Drive’” (by Nata Salvatori, High Standards, Human Pace)

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The reframe: You don’t have a strategy problem. You have a safety problem.

Most founders try to out-plan what their nervous system won’t permit. You can white-knuckle a new habit for a week, but if your body has learned that visibility is dangerous, or asking for help gets you punished, it will smartly pull you back to “safe”—even if “safe” looks like overwork, over-delivery, or doing it all yourself.

Common trauma-in-a-blazer patterns:

• Heroic self-sufficiency: “If I want it done right, I do it myself.”
• Chronic over-delivery/under-charging: Making prices feel “justifiable” because receiving doesn’t feel safe.
• Visibility wounds: The book never gets written; the podcast never launches; the keynote keeps moving.
• Delegation theater: You “hire,” but your body yanks you back into operator mode.

Strategy can’t stick where the system doesn’t feel safe.

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A simple self-check you can do today

Take one quiet minute and picture your next chapter:

• Making more while working less
• Letting your team truly carry outcomes—without you rescuing them
• Being known for your work in a bigger way

Now notice your body. Calm and expansive… or tight, buzzy, a little sick? That sensation isn’t failure; it’s data. It tells you exactly where safety work belongs.

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Why identity upgrades don’t hold (yet)

“Be your 7-figure self” sounds great—until that identity is stacked on the same old trauma foundation. You can repeat affirmations all day; if your deepest programming says I’m only valuable when I’m useful, you’ll keep snapping back. The work is to repattern safety so your next identity has somewhere solid to land.

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One client story you’ll see yourself in

In the episode, Farya shares a client who had the revenue, the team, and the plan—but couldn’t start her book. The block wasn’t “laziness”; it was a family-line visibility wound. Once they worked with safety at the nervous-system level, writing became possible. Same brain. Same skills. Different sense of safety.

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If delegation keeps failing, this is why

Delegation isn’t a task transfer; it’s a nervous system transfer. If asking for help historically led to shame or punishment, contracts won’t override your biology. You need structure and safety:

Try this, in order:

1. Stabilize safety: Normalize receiving support; celebrate small transfers of ownership.
2. Delegate outcomes, not tasks: Define done and how we’ll measure it.
3. Install standards, not surveillance: Clear SOPs and check-ins without micromanagement.
4. Practice not rescuing: Let your team carry weight; coach gaps, don’t grab the wheel.

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High Standards, Human Pace

Excellence without burnout is the bar here. We aim for remarkable—not relentless. If you’re ready to grow and breathe, this is your room.

👉 Read the full Substack article: “When Trauma Puts On a Blazer and Looks Like ‘Drive’”

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